I was, She was
by detectivebluebear
Summary: Koujirou Natsume goes to Yamaku Academy after having a stroke from an alcohol addiction and becoming unable to move his left arm. But that's not all he suffers from. Pretending to have amnesia he tries to leave everything behind and start a new life at Yamaku. Will he succeed, or will his secrets become too much to bear? And will he find love along the way? Lilly/OC Hisao/TBD
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

'Yamaku Academy?'

'Yes, Yamaku Academy. It's a school that specializes in looking after people with disabilities. You're going to be going there for the rest of your high school years.'

'What about my old school? My friends, where I live, everything?'

'You don't remember any of that though, do you?' countered the doctor.

I grimaced from where I lay in my hospital bed. A few days ago I had woken up to be told that I had been taken to the hospital after a stroke. The cause, apparently, had been drinking too much alcohol. Thanks to the stroke my left arm had been paralysed and it wasn't clear whether or not I'd be able to move it again one day.

'You'll live in the dorms at the academy, and I'm sure you'll find many new friends,' the doctor continued. 'Your guardian has already agreed to send you there, and all the paperwork has been completed. You'll start attending Yamaku next week.'

I stayed silent, thinking over my options. 'Alright, I'll go,' I said. There was no point objecting. After all, I had nothing to go back to. Or at least, I wasn't supposed to. After waking up in hospital I had pretended to have amnesia, for a few reasons regarding my past and what had caused me to drink enough to get a stroke. It'd be easier to live pretending I had forgotten everything, like nothing had happened. The doctor had seemed a little suspicious of my 'amnesia', but no questions had been asked.

'Good. As I said, you'll start next week. Your guardian's here to talk to you, so I'll leave now and let you two talk,' he said then walked out the door as a young man with a wild grin stepped in to take his place.

At the sight of him I smirked. 'I was wondering who my guardian was,' I said. I lived in Japan, but my parents had been living overseas for years now. They'd call occasionally to check up on me, but I hadn't talked to them for a long time. They knew nothing of my stroke.

The young man smirked back. 'Who else, but me? Though you're not supposed to recognize me are you, you amnesiac?' His expression turned serious. 'You haven't actually lost your memory have you?' he asked, already knowing the answer, but needing confirmation.

I sighed. 'No, it's just an act.'

'That's what I thought. How long will you keep this up for?'

I thought about it for a while. 'Who knows? I'll pretend as long as I need to. It's easier this way.'

'I see. It's probably for the better, yeah. Maybe it'll help you move on,' he replied.

'How have you been?' I changed the subject.

His grin returned to his face, 'Not bad, not bad, Kou. How 'bout you?'

'Not bad, not bad, Saku. Well, except for my arm,' I grinned, using his nickname like he used mine. The young man was Sakuya, my childhood friend, best friend, and the guy I treated as an older brother, both because he was older than me by a few years and also because of how protective he was, not just of me, but of our other friends too.

'So, new school huh?'

'Yep. This will be interesting. But how did you even become my guardian?' I asked, curious about how that happened.

'Easily. They couldn't find or contact your parents due to your 'amnesia', so I stepped in saying they were somewhere far, far, away, scribbled my signature here and there, and bam! Done. Sakuya Saito is Koujirou Natsume's guardian. Anyways, you need to get packing since you'll be living in the school dorms. Don't worry, I'll check up on your apartment every now and then while you're away.'

'Thanks, I really appreciate everything you've done,' I say, and I really mean it. I would be at a loss for what to do and how to go about doing things without his help.

He smiled, 'No problem. It's the least I can do for my little brother. By the way, before you start school do you want to dye your hair a respectable shade? Brown, black?' He smirks already knowing what my response will be.

'No way,' I protest, running my right hand through my dark blue hair. It had been that way since I was a child, and I liked it that way.

We talked some more before he left to go to my apartment to pack my suitcase for my trip.

Later, alone in my hospital room, I looked at my left arm. I gritted my teeth and tried to move it. Nothing. It refused to budge no matter how hard I tried, and just lay there, limp and useless. 'Dammit!' I cursed under my breath in frustration. I took a deep breath, calming down, and thought about what life would be like in a few days. Yamaku Academy. A school for kids with disabilities. Kids like me. The place where I would begin anew. Damn, this is making me nervous. Starting at a new school was always nerve-wracking. Hopefully I will be able to make some friends like the doctor said I would.

Ah, whatever, I sighed. No use thinking too deeply about it. What happens, happens. Watch out, Yamaku Academy. I, Koujirou Natsume, will be coming for you. School life will be interesting from now on.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

 **Thanks for reading, all follows and reviews are greatly appreciated! Would have written an author note last chapter, but I was trying to quickly write then publish it at school secretly without anyone looking on my computer screen and seeing it, so in a rush I left it out. :D**

I stand in front of the gates. Breathe in, breathe out. Nothing to worry about. Just have to walk in through the gates. Easy enough, right? Steeling my nerves I push the gates open and stride forward in what I hope is a confident manner.

After getting my key from the office, I try to find my dorm. I look around, hoping a sign saying 'Dorms' will magically appear. No such luck. Great. I'm already lost. I scan to see if there are any students wandering around that I can ask, but the courtyard is sadly empty. Sighing, I whip out my phone.

'What did you need again?'

'Dorms. Where are they?' I hear Saku on the other side of the line trying hard to stifle his laughter, and I grit my teeth in annoyance..

'Ahaha, sorry, sorry. I thought you'd call me soon, but not this soon,' he apologizes, then gives me directions. He came the day before with my things to pack my room for me.

'Thanks for the directions, I'll be off now,' I set off in the direction of the male dorms.

'Oh don't thank me yet,' he smirks, then hangs up.

Halfway down the hallway towards my room, I hear a huge thump, causing me to freeze. I turn my head towards the noise, hearing a string of curses. It seems to be coming from behind the door of a room near mine. Just as I decide to ignore it and quickly walk into my room, the door swings open, hitting the door with a bam. I cringe and shrink back as a boy walks out. He's dressed in the Yamaku uniform and has spiky black hair, thick round glasses, and a yellow and red scarf. He mutters under his breath and I think I hear something about feminists.

He's walking in my direction, so I step aside to let him pass, but he stops in front of me, and suddenly pushes his face up close to mine. 'Wha-?' I try to move back but I hit the wall.

'Who are you? Don't tell me, you're one of them!?' he questions loudly, voice continuing to raise. 'State your business!' I wince at the volume and try to put my hands up in defence. Well, hand, since I can only lift up one.

'Koujirou Natsume. Transfer student. New here. No idea who 'them' is. Just trying to get to my room,' I quickly fire out, trying to get him away from me.

'Hmm,' he seemed deep in thought. After a few moments of scrutinizing me he backs away and I sigh with relief. 'Alright, I'll accept that response. Name's Kenji. Nice to meet you Natsume, welcome to the team. There's another member, but he seems to be away right now,' he says, holding his hand out which I shake.

'Nice to meet you, Kenji, just call me Koujirou,' I respond. All my friends used to call me Kou, but I don't know how much I consider Kenji a friend. No offense to the guy, but he seems like he has a few screws loose.

'So who's 'them'?' I ask.

He motions for me to come closer with his hand, then whispers, ' _Them._ Feminists. They're all over the school. You have to watch out. In fact, it's safer to just stay in your room all day long, but sadly teachers need us to attend classes. I wouldn't be surprised if they're all part of the conspiracy too. It's a dangerous world out there, man. We have to stick together. Don't worry, I've got your back covered.'

I stare blankly at him. Wow. That was amazing. A few screws loose doesn't cover it well enough. This guy needs serious help. Then again, don't we all? I mean, I am at a school for kids for disabilities now. Plus, he doesn't seem like such a bad guy really.

'Thanks Kenji. It's good to know you've got my back covered. Let's fight off the feminists, comrade!' I play along with him slightly out of pity but also because I feel like it'll be interesting to see how things go from here.

We shake hands once more, then he bids me farewell, scurrying off to who knows where, leaving me to finally enter my room. Unlocking it with my key, I turn the handle and push the door open, only to receive a big surprise. My eyes widen at the sight and I hastily slam the door shut so no one walks past and looks inside.

I fumble for my phone, quickly dialling Saku's number.

'What's up, Kou?'

'Saku,' I growl in a menacing tone. I can hear him bursting out into fits of laughter. 'Saku!' I shout, looking around my room once more. There are posters everywhere. All over the walls, on the curtains, table, and other furniture there are posters. Posters of idols. Posters of gravure idols. Only one person would do this, and only that one person was here yesterday.

'SAKU!' I'm seething with rage and embarrassment. He keeps laughing. I groan thinking about how I'm going to have to take them all down.

'How'd you like my present? Welcome to your new school, Kou,' he chuckles. I sigh in annoyance, then start to smile a little, seeing the humour in it. Pranks and surprises remind me of the old days of school, when we all fooled around having fun together… I frown as an unpleasant thought suddenly comes into my head.

'Kou? You there?' Saku asks.

'Huh? Yeah, thanks a lot for your 'present',' I reply sarcastically.

'Good, keep them. In case you're ever feeling lonely at night,' he smirks.

'Tsk. Tsk. You should have given me anime posters instead. You know what I say,' I scold him.

'Haha, 2D is better than 3D, right? Too bad, just accept what you've got. You should be getting to class now anyways. See ya.'

'Seriously? See ya then.' I sigh, hang up, and then check the time. Crap, I better hurry. Don't want to be late on the first day, I'll deal with this mess later. I step out of my room quickly shutting the door behind me and go to the main building.

'3-3… Ah, there it is,' I spot my classroom and walk towards it. In front of the door is a tall man, dressed in a long brown jacket, blue dress shirt, slacks, and a tie. He hold his hand up in a 'hi' gesture when I approach.

'Nice to meet you, I'm Mutou, your homeroom teacher. I assume you're Koujirou Natsume?' he asks. I nod in response.

'Ok, just telling you that you need to introduce yourself to the class. Tell them your name, hobbies, favourite colour, etc.'

I think for a second. Hmm, my hobbies are… wait. 'Ah, sensei, that might be a bit of a problem.'

He raises an eyebrow. 'Oh?'

'You see, because of my stroke, I have amnesia,' I tell him.

He nods thoughtfully, stroking his chin. 'Alright then. In the profile of you they gave me, it mentioned that you were an amnesiac. However, it also noted that were some suspicions regarding your amnesia,' he says.

This time it's my turn to raise an eyebrow. Interesting. Doctors are more meddlesome than I thought.

'Don't worry, you can just say your name,' Mutou says.

I nod and follow him into the classroom. Glancing out to the class, it starts to really sink in that I'm in a special school. There are people with canes, people missing limbs, people with disabilities. It surprised me more than I thought it would. I take a deep breath. Calm down.

I clear my throat and speak, 'Ahem. Nice to meet you all, I'm Koujirou Natsume, although I'd prefer just being called Kou. I'll be your new classmate starting today, so I hope to get along with you all.' At the end I smile gently, looking around the class. This attracts whispers and a few blushes.

I inwardly grin, fondly remembering my old school, where Saku and I were referred to as the 'Knight Brothers'. As if that wasn't cheesy enough, we had individual titles too. If I recall correctly, Saku was the 'Golden Knight', who with one look could instantly melt your heart. And I was the 'Silver Knight', who with one look could instantly pierce your heart like an arrow of love. That wasn't all either. I remember hearing girls excitedly whispering things like, 'Kya, it's the Fire Prince and Ice Prince!' and a range of other nicknames.

That was a long time ago though. It only happened for a short while too, in the start of my first year of school, when Saku was starting his third year. The girls soon realized that despite our looks, our personalities weren't what they had imagined.

Saku, while kind, cheerful, and chivalrous, was also mischievous and a bit of a pervert/lolicon unique individual. Me? Well, I used to be shy, except for in the presence of my friends, and I tried hard to be nice to others. Girls quickly lost interest realizing I was just a shy guy who liked to hang with his friends and thought that in terms of girls, 2D was better than 3D. (They lost interest because of the latter more than former).

However, including us, our group of friends was very popular and famous around the school. The whole school knew our names, and Saku and I were still popular amongst the girls, just not romantically but as friends. Oh the times we had… until- No. Kou, don't think about it. None of that happened. We're moving on.

'Natsume, you can sit over there,' Mutou points to an empty seat near the window, thankfully interrupting my thoughts.

I nod and walk over to the specified seat. Luckily I was right handed, so I could still write.

The bell goes, signalling lunch break. I mentally fist pump, relieved class is over for now. As soon as the bell rings, students stand up, getting their things together and rushing off. Some come over to my desk, crowding around me.

'Hi! Can I call you Koujirou?' 'Nice to meet you!' 'Where did you come from?' 'Hello!' 'How do you like Yamaku so far?' 'How are you?' 'Tell us about yourself!' I'm bombarded with questions and greetings. I struggle, thinking about how to respond to everything. Just as I'm about to speak, everyone parts to reveal a girl with pink hair ending in drills, and a girl with short dark blue hair, darker than mine, and glasses.

'Ahahaha! Nice to meet you, newbie! I'm Misha Mikado, call me Misha! Next to me is Shicchan, Shizune Hakamichi. She says just call her Shizune. Welcome to Yamaku Academy! I hope you like it, seeing as you'll be stuck here for a while, hahaha!' declares the girl with pink hair, or Misha, as I just found out. As I sit there silently, everyone else around my desk gives me sympathetic looks before leaving. Worried about their reactions, I look at Misha and Shizune who stand in front of me looking triumphant, eyes glinting.

'Um, thanks?' I say.

'No problem! Shicchan is the class rep, and as the student council, it's our job to make sure all new students feel welcome here. You'll soon feel more comfortable here. Actually, I think you'd get along well with Hisao,' Misha replies. Both she and Shizune are making hand gestures back and forth. I stare at it for a while.

'It's sign language. Shicchan is deaf, so I translate for her, and she also talks through me,' Misha explains.

'Oh. I- um, sorry,' I quickly look away. 'Um, so, err, who's Hisao?' I quickly go back to what she was talking about before.

'Right. Hisao transferred here about a month before you, so he's been here for a while, but he's still new to the school. As another transfer student, I think you two would get along. He's in this class too. Which reminds me, when he arrived we gave him a tour around the school which we now need to give you, so come on!' she finishes excitedly, then both of them just about grab me and drag me out of the classroom. I'm still not sure exactly which one of them is speaking when, but I figure it doesn't really matter.

After showing me the cafeteria and us having lunch together, the two of them speed around the rest of the school with me in tow, pointing things out as we go along.

'Tada! There's the gym.'

'Oh, here's the library! Do you like reading, Goji?' I stop suddenly.

'Pardon? Did you just call me Goji?' the nickname stuns me. How did that come about?

'Yep! See, you're Koujirou. That becomes Kouji. Repeat Kouji fast, KoujiKoujiKoujiKoujiKouji it starts to sound like KojiKojiKoji, which starts to sound like GojiGojiGoji, so you're Goji. Like the berries!' She grins enthusiastically like it's simple. Seriously, it doesn't make sense at all. However, I'm used to dealing with people that lack logic, so I decide to just go with it.

'Alright then,' I say. 'Anyways, I think I liked reading.'

'You think you did?' Misha and Shizune glance at each other.

'Lost my memory,' I say, tapping my head.

They nod understandingly. 'Ok, you should check the library out sometime then. I'm sure you'll find something nice to read. Let's continue the tour!' We speed off again.

'This is our running track. You can run here for exercise. Some clubs use the place for practice after school, like the track team.'

This gets my interest. 'Clubs?'

The duo look at each other, signing in secret conversation, then turn my way with devious grins. I feel a shiver down my spine, remembering the sympathetic glances of my classmates earlier.

'Goji, remember how I said earlier that we were part of the student council? Well…'

Oh no.

I slump back in my chair, thankful to be back in the classroom. I barely escaped being recruited into the school council, only being saved thanks to the bell. I sigh, remembering my frantic refusals, trying to run away with only one hand to defend myself. Even after the bell had went, I was only freed, reluctantly, after assuring the two that I'd think about their offer.

'Such a shame,' Misha shakes her head in disappointment, coming up to my desk. I instinctively move back, laughing nervously.

'Don't worry, like I said, I'll think about it.'

'Hahaha. No need to look so nervous, it's just that Hisao said the same thing too, and never joined.'

'What did I say?' I turn to see a boy with brown hair and eyes lean over on his chair. I recognize him as the boy who sits in front of me. Huh, so he was Hisao.

'Nothing, nothing. Just talking about how you never ended up joining the student council. Shizune and I were both deeply disappointed,' Misha sighs, then goes away to chat with Shizune.

Hisao laughs awkwardly then looks over to me. 'You're Koujirou Natsume, right? Nice to meet you, I'm Hisao Nakai. You can call me Hisao.' Ah, how many 'nice to meet you's I've received today…

'Yep, that's me. Call me Koujirou. Nice to meet you too, Hisao,' I reply. Hisao seems pretty cool, and the two of us talk until the teacher comes. 'Nice talking to you. Hey, want to come eat lunch with me tomorrow? I have a few friends I eat with, I can introduce you guys,' Hisao offers.

'Sure,' I smile, glad to have something to do at lunch tomorrow.

After classes end for the day, I go to the medical building where I meet the Nurse, a cheerful guy who performs a check on me then asks me a few questions about how I'm feeling.

'Seems like everything is fine. Regarding your arm, you'll be doing rehab here at the school, instead of in the hospital. You have a physical therapist who will help you through the process. Here's your timetable of rehab sessions and some information and guidance on dealing with some things without the use of one arm. I expect you to attend every session, ok? I'm sure you want to be able to use that arm again. The most important part is that you try your hardest.' He hands me a folder filled with sheets of paper.

'Thanks, I'll look through this later.' I take the folder.

'No problem, this is my job,' he grins, 'See you later.'

'Bye,' I nod my head and go back to my room.

I get to my room without any problems (meeting Kenji). Shutting my door behind me I chuck the folder onto my table, then stare at all the posters and sigh.

'Great. Time to deal with this mess.'


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Yawning, I stretch and look at the clock, looking forward to my second day of school. Or not. My eyes widen looking at my clock. I check my watch, it's telling me the same thing: school already ended. Oh no. I've even missed my rehab session.

I groan, regretting not setting an alarm. Dammit, I was supposed to be eating lunch with Hisao and his friends too… it would've been a good opportunity to meet more people. How did I even manage to sleep for so long? I went to bed late after taking every single poster down from my room yesterday, but still, sleeping through all of school?

I'll to visit the nurse and explain why I missed my rehab. But first, I have to put on clothes. Yesterday I just went to bed in my boxers after managing to take off my uniform. Since school's ended, I decide to just put on some casual clothing. The problem is dressing with one arm.

I grab a T-shirt, and struggle for a few moments trying to get it on properly, failing miserably. This is ridiculous. I'm not about to go asking someone for help like this either. Forget the T-shirt, I'll wear a long-sleeved dress shirt. Using the wall and some serious skill, I put it on, and button it up. Next I put on a pair of black jeans, a considerable easier task as I don't have to worry about getting my arm through anything, and slip into my sneakers. Alright, time to see the nurse.

'You were missed at rehab today, I was told,' the nurse says.

'Sorry. I missed school too, somehow I slept in for ages. I'll definitely show up tomorrow. In fact, please double my session,' I apologize seriously. The nurse sighs.

'Alright, alright. However, you'll have to do something since you missed today's session,' he grins.

'What would that be?'

'Don't worry, it's all for your own good. Research shows that this method helped patients recover faster, though I won't have you do it for as long,' the nurse informs me. Now I'm starting to worry.

'Give me your good arm,' he points at my right arm.

'Ok?' I go over to him, and he puts a cast on it, sealing it behind my back so I can't move it at all.

'Wha- Wait!' By the time I realized what he was doing, it was too late.

'By sealing your good arm, the idea is that you'll be forced to use your paralysed one. I'll take it off you at your next rehab session, tomorrow after school. Until then, keep it on. Not that you can take it off yourself anyways,' he chuckles.

'I don't know if this is a good idea. How will I eat and stuff?'

'It'll be fine. If you need help, there are nurses around the school, 24/7. This will be a good lesson for you. Anyways, you're free to go now.'

Great. Saying goodbye, I leave, walking carefully. Having woken up so late, I'm starving. The cafeteria's closed now, so I'll go into town and do some exploring, since I haven't really checked it out yet.

I get out of the school and I'm on the road to town. That's when I trip, stumble, and fall. Trying and failing to stop my fall by flinging my arms out in front of me, I twist, turn, and faceplant on the ground. Ow. My cheek's stinging.

I curse under my breath and attempt to get up. The result? Let's just say, getting up without the use of my arms was harder than I thought it'd be. Thrashing around while grunting with effort I tried to at least get on my knees, which ended with my butt sticking up in the air in an awkward position.

Giving up, I roll over onto my back and sigh. Hopefully someone will come past soon. My stomach growls, reminding me of how hungry I am.

'What are you doing?' I turn my head to see a girl with short red hair and a vacant look in her eyes. She's dressed in a boy's uniform. Rescue! Or so I think until I observe her lack of arms.

'Ah well, I fell,' I answer her question, feeling stupid.

'I see.' She stands there looking off into space. 'So, what ails you?'

This question takes me by surprise. 'What?'

'What ails you? You know, what's your problem? I can see you're having some sort of trouble with your arms.'

Her frankness is refreshing. 'Oh. Um, yeah, my left arm was paralysed after a stroke. As for my right arm… I have the nurse to thank for that.' Oh I'll be thanking him tomorrow alright. I hope he's ready.

The girl nods wisely. 'I'd help you up, but…' she trails off, and I smile grimly.

'It's fine,' I say.

She nods again. 'It's ok, help is coming,' she tells me, before looking off into space again. Before I can ask her what she means, a loud voice comes from the direction I was coming from before I fell.

'Wait up Rin!' The voice belongs to a short girl with blond twin tails, dressed in our school's sports uniform. She comes running up to us and I realize that the girl in front of me, 'Rin', is not the only one who's lost a few limbs.

'Eh, who're you?' The girl looks at me curiously.

'Name's Koujirou Natsume. You?' I ask back. She has no legs, but she has arms, yes! The instant I think that I feel a stab of guilt.

'Emi Ibarazaki! Call me Emi, everyone does,' she grins brightly.

'Ok Emi, nice to meet you.'

'Whatcha doing?' She tilts her head. Damn this is embarrassing.

'He fell,' Rin says. Emi proceeds to look at me carefully.

'Need some help?' she offers me a hand. Which I can't take.

'Actually, my left arm is paralysed and the other one is kind of… tied up,' I explain. She giggles and grabs my left arm, pulling me up. With her help, I manage to get back on my feet.

'Thank you so much,' I sigh in relief.

'No problem!' she smiles and asks me what I was doing before I fell.

'I was on my way to get food. I missed breakfast and lunch, so I'm starving right now. May as well take the chance to explore town too, I thought.'

She nods then giggles again. 'How were you planning to eat food without using your arms?'

'Well, my plan was to buy something from a shop then eat it back in my room. As for how I'd carry food, I was planning on working out once I got there. I'm supposed to try and use my paralysed arm but maybe I'll just carry stuff in my mouth…' I trail off, thinking about how stupid I'd look.

'Shall I help you? Rin and I were going to go shopping anyways. There's a convenience store in town we can stop by,' she offers. I look at her, studying her closely. Emi Ibarazaki, although I've only known you for less than a few minutes, I can say this now: you are a godsend.

I repeatedly thank her, bowing my head in thanks. She waves it off like it's nothing.

'Seriously, thank you. If you hadn't come along, I'd still be lying on the ground like an idiot. Plus, you're even going to help me buy stuff and carry it back for me. I owe you a few favours.' I smile at her, and I think she blushes for a moment.

'No problem, we should get going!' she exclaims grabbing Rin's shoulder and motioning for me to follow.

We get to town where we stop by the art store before going to the convenience store where Emi helps me buy some bread. We then make our way back to the academy, talking as we walk.

'I'll bring these into your room for you,' she says.

'It's alright, I can take them from here. You've already done so much for me.'

'How are you planning on opening your door?' she challenges me playfully. Urk. She's got me there.

She comes with me into my room and puts the bread on the table, looking around. 'Nice room,' she teases. As I only moved in a few days ago, my room is painfully bare. All the posters Saku gave me have been packed into some corner of the closet so I can give them back in case he ever comes to visit.

'Haha, it's really empty, I know. It'll get messy soon, don't worry,' I smirk. She smiles and waves goodbye.

'See ya Goji, it was nice getting to know you. I'm sure we'll see each other again around the school.' Erghk. I make a strangled sound upon hearing that nickname.

'Pardon? Goji, why Goji? Not you too,' I groan. She laughs at my reaction.

'You know, you're pretty famous in the school. I've been hearing rumours about you. Koujirou Natsume, the handsome new student with a killer smile. The rumours seem to be pretty true from what I've seen,' she grins. There were rumours like that? Heck, I only transferred here yesterday.

'Thanks for the compliment. But seriously, why Goji?' Misha calling me that was already more than enough.

'That's what Misha calls you. The nickname has spread with the rumours. Isn't it cute?'

'Cute? Ha,' I scoff, 'Puppies and kittens are cute. Goji? Not cute. I shouldn't have let Misha call me that dammit.'

Emi laughs. 'Well, too bad. See ya, for real this time.' She leaves my room and I sit down to eat. Let's see, how to do this? I try to move my left arm. Nothing. Guess it's time to get creative. Using my teeth and my knees, I try to pin the bread down against the table and tear the wrapper off. After that, eating it is easy.

My third day of school. I had woken up extra early this morning to have time to change. Sleeping wasn't comfortable anyways, because of my arm being stuck behind my back, and now my upper body is sore too. Can't wait to get this cast off.

Well, let's do this. Getting changed. Without the use of my arms. No sweat right? As if. Screw this, I'm not in my uniform, but I'm wearing my clothes from yesterday, so I won't be going outside naked. I'll just go see the nurse and ask him to take the cast off.

I dash down to the medical building as fast as I can while still being careful enough to avoid falling. It's six o'clock, so there's no one up. Hope the nurse is there... Luckily, he is.

He grins upon seeing me. 'Up early, eh, Koujirou?'

'I thought I'd give myself plenty of time to get changed. Didn't help much. I still can't change, thanks to the cast,' I look at him pointedly.

'Haha, no problem, I can help you change,' he chuckles. Wait what.

'No, no, no. I was actually hoping you'd remove the cast.'

'It's fine, there's no need to be shy.'

'No, really, you don't have to bother yourself like this. It'll be easier for both of us if you just remove my cast.' I slowly step back as I speak, inching towards the door.

'Like I said, it's fine. I don't mind. Come on, I'll help you.' He slowly moves closer to me, reaching his arms out as I continue to back away. I back into the closed door and despair as I realize there's no way out. The nurse grins seeing my expression. Oh no.

'I'll struggle to the end. One step closer and I'll use my secret weapon,' I threaten him desperately, making him chuckle.

'Secret weapon? What would that be, I wonder?' He takes a step forward.

That morning, students and staff all over Yamaku Academy were woken by a deafening yell which echoed loudly around the entire campus. They would never discover the cause, and the mystery would grow to become one of the seven wonders of Yamaku. (Ok, maybe that last part was an exaggeration, but the fact that the yell would become an unsolved mystery was true.)

In the end, I went to school in the dress shirt and jeans I was wearing yesterday, but with the Yamaku blazer draped around my shoulders, a loose tie around my neck, and school shoes instead of sneakers.

Misha and Shizune are the first to greet me when I walk into the classroom. 'Yo Goji, looking spiffy! Didn't see you at school yesterday. As a new student and a student of Yamaku, you have a responsibility to attend all classes.'

I laugh sheepishly, thinking of how I slept in yesterday, missing every class. 'Yeah, sorry… Don't worry, I'll be here every day from now on.'

Hisao greets me next, also commenting on my attire and my non-attendance of class yesterday.

'I don't know how I managed to sleep for so long. I was looking forward to having lunch with you guys too, does that offer still stand?' I ask.

He nods, 'Sure, no problem.'

'Great. By the way, am I dressed that weirdly? People have been looking at me all morning.'

He smiles awkwardly. 'No, I don't think you're dressed weirdly at all. You're quite popular, you know?' I recall Emi's words yesterday, as well as my experience in my first school. Hmm… Interesting. This could end up being good or bad.

'I see. Well, can't wait for lunch to come. Can't write notes or anything in class anyways,' I look down at my arms.

'You can have my notes if you want. I was going to ask, what's with the cast?'

'It's ok, I'll be fine. The cast? Nurse's orders,' I sigh. Hisao chuckles.

'Alright. That guy can be a pain sometimes huh?'

'Damn right.'

Mutou walks into the classroom and I wait patiently for class to end. Almost everything our class is currently learning at school I've learnt already. I'm a quick learner, but more than that, I was taught by someone very smart… I shiver and start to feel nauseous. I quickly think of other things before my symptoms get worse.

Eventually, lunchtime comes, and I follow Hisao out of the classroom. I only take a few steps out of the classroom before Emi pops up with a grin.

'Yo! Goji, wanna have lunch with me and Rin?'

'Eh? Ah, sorry, I'm already having lunch with Hisao and his friends. I appreciate the thought though,' I smile. Is it my imagination, or did I just hear a few muffled squeals?

'What! They got to you first huh? Then, what about tomorrow? I'll bring lunch for you too,' she offers. It's not a bad offer, but…

Seeing my slightly troubled expression, she continues, 'You owe me a few favours too, remember? This can be one of them.'

'In that case, alright,' I nod.

'Great! See ya tomorrow!' Her expression brightens as she runs off.

'We'd better get going then,' Hisao says, 'You're getting lunch from the cafeteria too right?'

'Yeah… I don't know if I'll be able to eat it though.' As soon as the words leave my mouth, a girl approaches me. I don't recognize her, she looks younger than me. She fidgets nervously and looks at me. I raise my eyebrows slightly in anticipation.

'Um, if you want… you can have my lunch!' she exclaims, holding out a delicious-looking bento box. I freeze for a moment. This is like a situation from a shoujo manga. And if I'm right, that means…

'Wait! Koujirou-sama, have my lunch!' 'No, my lunch is better! Please, take it!' 'Take mine, I'm not hungry at all!' 'I made this myself! I'm not that confident, but please, I'd love for you to have it!'

A crowd of girls offer their lunches up to me, hopeful expressions in their eyes, pushing each other around in the process. Well, it's not like I read a lot of manga for nothing. I take a step closer to them all and they fall silent, watching me.

'…Thank you,' I smile, 'All of you. I can't accept any of your offers, but the thoughts and feelings behind them make me really happy. Looking at them, I'm sure they great. However, if I took someone else's lunch I'd feel bad knowing that while I was eating, they were going hungry.' At this, I make a pained expression.

'No, don't be sad!' 'It wouldn't be your fault, or anything!' 'I don't mind going hungry if it's for you!' 'Please don't make that expression!' 'Ah, Koujirou-sama is truly a prince!'

I smile again, 'Thank you for being so understanding. I must go now.' The crowd parts and I walk through with Hisao in tow, leaving the screams and whispers behind. The whispers are from other students, and in them I hear amazement but also dislike. No surprise there. Popular people seem to have as many haters as well as fans. Except for at my old school of course. Once again, I recall the times I had with my friends, lingering on the memories for a moment before brushing them to the back of my mind.

After we buy food from the cafeteria, with Hisao helping me hold the bread I chose, he leads the way to an emptier hallway and I breathe a sigh of relief. 'You're pretty amazing, man. What you did just now, I've never seen anything like it,' he looks at me. I laugh awkwardly.

'My best friend was more-' I cut off mid-sentence. Oops. About to talk about how popular Saku was, I had forgotten to keep up my 'amnesia'.

'Your best friend?' Hisao makes a confused face.

'Never mind, forget it. I don't think I've told you, but I'm actually an amnesiac. Thought I remembered something for a moment, but it slipped away. At least I know now I had a best friend,' I grin.

Hisao looks apologetic. 'Sorry.'

'Don't apologize, it's not your fault or anything,' I say, feeling guilty since he's being apologetic over my fake amnesia. 'Anyways, where are we headed?' I inquire.

'Right!' He snaps up, remembering our original goal. 'We're almost there. Lilly and Hanako are probably waiting for us, I told them you'd be coming with me today. Oh, Hanako's in our class, you probably won't recognize her though, she was away on the day you were here.'

He leads us to a classroom near the library. He looks at me questioningly, silently asking for confirmation. I nod, and he opens the door.

'Hisao?'

'Ah, Hisao! And you must be… Natsume-san?'

I stand in the doorway. Two girls are seated at a table in the middle of the room. The second greeting, a soft whisper, came from a girl with dark purple hair. As she says my name, her eyes meet mine, and that's when I see them. Burn scars.

Of course, it makes sense that someone at this school would have burn scars. I mean, it's a school for those with disabilities. It's something I'll have to deal with seeing. I should just get used to it, right? But I can't.

I'm frozen where I stand, eyes transfixed on her burns. Burns. Burns caused by fire. Fire. Heat. Pain. I feel my eyes tear up, and I make a conscious effort to stop looking.

'I-I…' I try to get some words out, but nothing is coming to mind, but the feeling of unbearable warmth. The heat of fire, the heat of a body. I step back, turn, and start running, trying to supress my urge to vomit. Nausea. Pain. I hear Hisao call my name, his voice sounding like it's coming from a mile away.

Tears are pouring out of my eyes now, and they blind me as I continue stumble around, trying to escape. But it's all in my mind, and I can't run from my mind, even if I desperately want to.

Eventually I slow to a stop and hold my head as I sink to the ground, back to the wall. I curl up, and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out everything. It's hot. Painfully hot. My head hurts. My heart hurts.

'I'm sorry… I don't want to be alone… It's all my fault… Why am I so weak?' I mutter. If only I was stronger… none of that would've happened. I sob. 'It's all my fault. It's all my fault. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Everything was my fault. I'll get stronger… Help me, please… You were always the strong one. I was the weak one. I'm sorry…' I feel the heat intensify. I'm hurting everywhere, the pain's getting worse. I can't breathe. My lungs start to ache as I struggle for air.

'Are you alright?' With one question, I'm snapped out of it. The heat and pain fade away as I slowly open my eyes to reveal a girl with long blonde hair and cloudy blue eyes. She looks at me with concern.

I find myself able to breathe again, and I take deep breaths, relishing the feeling of oxygen entering my lungs.

'Natsume-san?' I recognize her as the other girl that was in the classroom before.

'Huh? Ah, I'm fine now, thank you. Sorry to trouble you like this. I'd better go back and apologize to Hisao and err…'

'Hanako,' she promptly fills in the blank.

'Yeah, Hanako. I did something really rude to her just now.' I stare down at the ground, embarrassed. Poor girl, it's not like she wanted those scars. She seemed to be quite shy, too. My reaction to her probably didn't help at all.

The girl in front of me smiles gently. 'I'm sure she'll understand. You seem to have reasons why you acted the way you did. I wouldn't like to pry, but are you sure you're alright?' She repeats the question she asked me earlier.

'Yeah, I am. Thanks again. By the way, everything I said to myself earlier, could you please… forget it?'

'Of course. I understand that you must have your own circumstances. With that said, shall we return to the classroom? It wouldn't do to keep the others waiting. Unless you feel like you need some more time outside?'

'No, you're right, we should get back. By the way, we were never formally introduced.'

She laughs softly. 'How rude of me to forget. I'm Lilly Satou. Pleased to make your acquaintance.'

I muster up a small smile, though I've noticed her blindness. 'Pleased to make your acquaintance too, I'm Natsume Koujirou.'

'So I've heard.'

'Hasn't everyone?'

She laughs again. 'It's a shame I can't see your 'killer smile'.'

'No, it's probably better that way. I don't need more fangirls,' I grin.

'Oh? You're very confident,' she raises an eyebrow.

'Of course, it's only natural if you're like me.'

She smiles as she gracefully makes her way down the hallway, and I smile too. Not a 'killer smile', but a real smile. A happy one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for reading, this is the longest chapter so far. Please give some feedback or suggestions, tell me what you liked, didn't like, etc. If you have any questions also feel free to leave a comment, I'll answer. By the way, I've been referencing a certain anime/game that I love, especially a certain character in particular who will be important in later chapters, I'm just curious if anyone has actually picked this up (I've dropped various clues that if you've played this game/watched this anime should be really obvious). If you have, tell me and I'll tell you if you're right. :D**

 **The song that Koujirou sings is Prisoner – The Weeknd and Lana Del Rey**

 ***If something is in Italics, it's English.  
**

* * *

Chapter Four

I pause just before the classroom. I'm starting to have doubts about whether I should enter or not. If I see Hanako's scars again, will I be ok?

'You'll be fine,' Lilly assures me, as if she read my thoughts. I nod, then remember that she can't see.

'Thanks.' I take a deep breath to steel my resolve before stepping inside the classroom. Hanako is seated at the table and Hisao is by her side, talking to her, probably comforting her. When I enter, they both look up at me, and I see the fear in Hanako's eyes.

My view flicks to her scars momentarily and I take a step back, feeling slightly nauseous. 'You'll be fine,' Lilly whispers by my side, reassuring me. I nod, feeling more confident, and meet Hanako's eyes again.

'I'm sorry,' I apologize with a bow. 'I was really rude and insensitive just now, you don't have to forgive me, I understand if you don't, I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I mean it.'

'I-it's ok. You don't have to bow like that, I'm u-used to these things,' she waves her arms, flustered, but I can tell that she's sad, and I know I've hurt her.

'You shouldn't have to get used to these things. It's not you, it was my fault, I'm sorry. I'm sure no one's reacted like that before,' I sigh.

'Y-you're right,' she admits. 'B-but, I'm sure that's because you have your own i-issues. Hisao said you're a g-good person, so I'd like to b-be your friend too! That is, if you w-want to.'

I feel my eyes widen slightly in surprise, then I smile. Such kind hearts are rare these days. Wow, somehow I feel so old saying that.

'Um, Natsume-san?' she looks at me with worried eyes.

'Call me Koujirou. After all, we're friends now, right?'

She smiles with relief, and nods.

'By the way, we still haven't been introduced. You know who I am, but I don't know you beyond 'Hanako'.'

'O-oh! I'm Hanako Ikezawa, nice to m-meet you! Y-you can call me Hanako, because we're f-friends now,' she smiles shyly.

Finally, we're able to settle down to eat lunch as originally planned. As we walk over to the table, Lilly whispers 'Told you so,' a knowing smile on her face. I flash a quick grin before taking a seat at the table. Sure, she's blind, but I figure it doesn't matter.

'Need some help with that?' Hisao points at my bread.

'Yes please,' I smile with resignation. Hisao picks up the bread and takes it out of its wrapper before holding it up to me.

'Thanks,' I say before grabbing it in my mouth.

Lilly raises her eyebrow at this exchange. 'Koujirou, could it be that you can't use your arms? I noticed earlier too, the sound when you walk is somewhat strange, if you don't mind me saying.'

'Ah, I was also c-curious about your cast. If you don't m-mind, may I ask why it's b-behind your back?' Hanako asks. I'd answer their questions, but my mouth is full of bread and opening it means dropping the whole thing. Instead, Hisao helps answer for me, explaining how I can't use my left arm, and how my right arm was bound behind my back by Nurse.

Finishing my bread, I add, 'My left arm is paralysed from a stroke I had, I'm supposed to try and use it or something.' The two nod understandingly.

'Well, would you like some tea? I'm sure there's a straw around here somewhere if you'd like,' Lilly offers. Tea? Whatever I do, there's always something to remind me, huh?

'No thank you, I'm fine. I don't think I really like tea, to be honest.' It's not exactly a lie. I used to like tea, but now it's just another painful memory of the past.

Lilly nods, before getting up and manoeuvring around the room to make a cup for herself, Hisao, and Hanako. The aroma of the tea causes me to frown momentarily.

'So, are you guys in clubs?' I've wondered for a while whether or not to join a club, but I'm also trying to distract myself from the smell of tea.

'Nope,' comes Hisao's reply, as well as a shake of the head from Hanako.

'Are you thinking of joining one?' asks Lilly.

'Well, maybe. Seems like it'd be fun. Though I don't know how much I can do with one arm.'

'There's plenty of clubs you can still join,' Hisao says.

'Yes, we have art and music clubs, literature club, the newspaper club, and I'm sure you can still join sports clubs with your arm. We have a track and field team, baseball club, and more,' Lilly informs me. Baseball, huh? Another reminder of the past. The times I had, playing baseball with my friends…

'Wait, what music clubs are there?'

'Well, there's instrumental groups like bands and orchestras, choirs, we also have a dance club. Are you interested?' Lilly replies.

'Um, yeah, kind of. I sing and play an instrument.' At this, Hisao narrows his eyes, but says nothing.

'W-what instrument can you play?' Hanako asks, eyes full of curiosity. I shouldn't have mentioned that, dang. The piano is another painful memory. Oh well, a brief answer should be fine, right?

'The piano,' I answer, somewhat uncomfortably, which doesn't go unnoticed.

'Ah…' Hanako trails off.

'Guess I can't play it anymore, eh?' I force a grin, which also doesn't go unnoticed.

'You said you sing as well, right? Would you mind singing something for us now?' Lilly gracefully steers the conversation in a better direction.

'Sure, but what should I sing?'

'Anything you like,' she smiles. Hisao looks at me doubtfully, and I nod trying to communicate with my eyes that it'll be fine.

'Well, just a bit, then.' They all nod encouragingly and wait for me to sing. I clear my throat, and open my mouth.

 _You bring good to my lonely life, honestly_

 _It's hard for me to look in your eyes_

 _When, I say that I would be nothing without your love_

 _I feel the rush and it's amazing_

 _Maybe I've been always destined to end up in this place, yeah_

 _I don't mean to come off as selfish, but I want it all_

 _Love will always be a lesson, let's get out of its way_

 _Cause I know, all I know, all I know_

 _I'm a prisoner to my addiction_

 _I'm addicted to a life that's so empty and so cold_

 _I'm a prisoner to my decisions_

 _Ooh, ooh, ooh_

After I finish, they're all completely silent. 'Was it… that bad?' I haven't sung in a while, I'm kind of out of practice.

'No, no, it wasn't bad, in fact it was great,' Lilly reassures me.

'Y-yeah, you're really good at s-singing!' Hanako says.

'They're right, that was pretty amazing just now,' Hisao agrees. Yet somehow, they all seem to be surprised to the point of shock.

 _General POV_

The surprise on Lilly, Hanako, and Hisao's faces must've been pretty obvious as Koujirou didn't seem to believe them as they tried to reassure him. His singing had been wonderful, and they honestly believed that; what had them so shocked was the emotion in his voice as he sang. It was as if he was singing about himself, especially in the chorus. His song had been like a window into some inner pain of his, which had caught them all off guard.

They remembered what happened earlier, and couldn't help but feel curious about his past.

 _Koujirou POV_

'So, is that a song you like?' Hisao asks.

'Huh? Um, I think so. It was the first thing that kind of popped into my mind. It's a probably a song I liked,' I answer.

'You think so?' Lilly questions.

'Ah, I'm an amnesiac you see. Woke up after the stroke with my head blank.'

'My apologies for bringing this up, but then does this mean that incident earlier…'

'Maybe I have some trauma or something which came up again. I'm not really sure. To be honest, I still can't remember anything which might explain why I reacted like that. Sorry.'

'No, don't apologize. If anything, I should be the one to apologize for making you have to think about that again.' Lilly frowns, deep in thought. She doesn't question me further.

'Well, it's good you remembered some things right? Like how you sing and play and instrument,' Hisao casually remarks.

'Yeah, it's great!' I pretend to brighten up, and grin like an innocent, bright-eyed kid. I can tell by his reaction that he wasn't expecting me to respond the way I did. He seems to buy my act. I inwardly smirk. Things like that won't work against me.

The bell chooses then to ring, ending what has been quite the eventful lunch. 'Koujirou, would you like to have lunch with us again tomorrow?' Lilly asks.

'Tomorrow? Ah, I'm already eating with Emi and Rin, could I hang with you guys the day after?'

'Of course. I'm sure the others would like that too,' she smiles as Hanako and Hisao nod. Since we're in the same class, the two of them walk back with me, although Hanako seems a little reluctant.

Despite us now being friends, she was pretty nervous just now due to my being there. Oh well, it makes sense after how I reacted to her scars. Not to mention how she seems like she would be very shy around strangers like me in the first place. Can't say I'm not slightly nervous around her too though. When I talk to her I try to look into her eyes not at her scars, but they're still in my vision, so whenever I face her I feel a slight headache and my stomach churns a bit.

* * *

After school I attend my rehab session and finally get my dreaded cast taken off. It was only on for a day, but that was more than enough to last a lifetime. The nurse laughs at my obvious relief and I shoot him a glare.

'Hahaha, don't be mad, it's all for your own good.'

'Hahaha, don't be mad, if you wake up one day without your arms,' I say quietly, looking at him meaningfully. He shivers and his laughter becomes nervous.

'You wouldn't, right? Hahaha…' I ignore him, and get started on my rehab. He gulps, no longer laughing.

* * *

The next day, I'm having lunch with Emi and Rin as promised. We're on the rooftop, and although I figure it's not exactly within the school rules I don't say anything. I've broken many rules in my time.

'Thanks for not only inviting me, but bringing me lunch too, you really didn't have to,' I thank Emi, who's brought a lunch box for me.

'This lunch is a favour you're doing me, remember? So you have to eat that,' she declares. I'm not sure how she reached that conclusion, but I've come to accept the twisted logic that many Yamaku students seem to possess. Plus, it's a free lunch, I'm not about to complain. I pick up an egg roll with my chopsticks then pause. Emi is looking at me expectantly.

'Well? Hurry up and eat,' she urges me.

'Err, ok.' Feeling pressured, I place it in my mouth and chew. 'Yum!' It really is. The flavour spreads around my tongue and I savour the egg roll. It's slightly sweet, just the way I like it.

Emi grins with relief. 'That's good,' she says gladly.

'Yeah, this is great! Which store did you buy it from?' I ask teasingly, only to be answered with a punch to the stomach.

'Oof. Just joking.' This girl is stronger than she looks. That punch winded me for a second. Emi sticks her tongue out at me.

'Poor Rin. You must have it hard, having to deal with this,' I address the girl, who's busy eating.

'Hey!' Emi protests.

Rin glances over, and responds, 'Not really. I believe right now she's acting under the influence of greater unseen forces.' Emi starts blushing at this. Huh? Am I missing something here? Greater unseen forces… I have a certain idea but I'm going to ignore it for now. I'm probably wrong anyways.

The three of us continue to talk as we eat. I'm almost finished eating when I start to feel drowsy. My eyelids feel heavy and my eyes slowly shut, against my will. I feel myself start to fall backwards.

'Hey, Koujirou!?' Emi shouts with a worried voice.

'I'm… fine…' Before I can say anything else sleep takes me.

I open my eyes to see an unfamiliar white ceiling. Where am I?

'Glad you're up now. How are you feeling?' I look to the direction the voice came from, and see the nurse standing there with a serious look on his face.

'How much time has passed? How did I get here? What happened to Emi and Rin?' I fire a barrage of questions at him.

'Whoa, slow down. School ended a few minutes ago. Emi ran and got me when you fell asleep and we took you to my office here to rest. Emi wanted to wait for you to wake up, but I made her go to class after telling her you'd be fine and that you really hadn't fainted, you were just sleeping. You had us both worried at the start; I thought you had actually collapsed. So, answer my question. How are you feeling?'

I take a deep breath. Good, it hasn't been too long. 'I'm feeling fine. I didn't mean to worry anyone, I guess I just didn't get enough sleep last night. I was feeling kind of tired.'

The nurse frowns. 'Hmm, alright. I'll let you go now. Enjoy your day.' His grin returns as he bids me farewell. He seemed a little suspicious but it's fine if he doesn't ask any questions.

Before going back to my room I decide to stop by the library. Reading is one of hobbies, and it's not like I have anything better to do.

Taking a step into the library, I stop for a moment to just look around the place, enjoying the ambience and the silence of the place, the smell of books, and the soft glow of light spilling in from the windows.

I approach the library counter and try to get the attention of the librarian who seems to be lost in her own thoughts.

'Excuse me, miss?'

She turns around immediately and I get a proper look at her, noting her auburn hair and glasses. 'Yes! What is it? Is there something you need? Can I help you, or get you something?' She's very flustered and all over the place.

'Um, well-'

'Hmm? I haven't seen you around here before, are you new here?' she readjusts her glasses.

'Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm new. Koujirou Natsume.'

'I see, nice to meet you, I'm Yuuko Shirakawa but you can just call me Yuuko, I'm the librarian here but you already know that don't you? You're here in the library talking to me after all, probably because you needed something. Right! You needed something didn't you? And then I interrupted you, how rude of me, I'm so sorry, I won't do it again. So, what did you need? Are you looking for a certain book maybe? We have a huge collection, although half of it is braille. I don't suppose you can read braille though, can you? Or can you? I'm sorry if I've just insulted you. Oh dear, now I'm just babbling on and wasting your time, I'm terribly sorry.'

'Uhhh, well I uh-'

'Oh my! Did you say Koujirou Natsume? You must be that famous transfer student then. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you earlier, I've heard so much about you. Is it true, the story of how you were proposed to by a princess of a faraway land, but you didn't like her so you rejected her and then ran away to this school to escape her anger? And that if she catches you, you'll be sentenced to death?'

'I- wait, who made that up? Never mind, it's not true. Please, don't believe any story you're told about me.' But seriously, who makes up these things anyways?

Yuuko nods seriously.

'So, um, this is actually my first time taking a proper look at the library, and I was wondering if you had any books to recommend.'

'Ah! Yes, of course I can help you with that, sorry to waste so much of your time earlier, follow me.' She goes around the counter and leads me to the back of the library.

'Any genres you like in particular?' she looks back at me.

'Mysteries are good. Fantasy as well, though I'll be willing to read anything if you think it's good. I'm not that fussed about it.'

She nods, then walks over to a particular shelf. 'Here you go, you can take a look and see what suits you, but I'd personally recommend this one, it's about cryptology.' She pulls a book out and shows it to me. It might be a good read, but I can't actually read it.

'Um, it's in Braille.'

'Hmm? Yes, of course it's in Braille, what's the matter? Didn't you say you could read Braille?' she tilts her head confused.

'What? When? I never said that.'

'Oh, was it Morse then? That you used to create a code, then write and send a message to the president to warn him of his assassination?' I stare at her blankly.

'Morse? President? Assassination? I'm sorry, I'm not following,' I crease my eyebrows.

'Oh, sorry, it's secret right? No one is supposed to know that you're a spy agent and that you're on an undercover mission at this school. Oh no, I just said it out loud! I'm sorry, please don't kill me.' She puts her hands over her mouth.

'Too late. No one's allowed to know. To maintain utmost confidentiality, I am going to have to silence you. Tonight will be your last night on this Earth,' I say solemnly, causing her to gasp in fear and start shaking.

'Just joking. As if I'm a spy. Please, once again, ignore any stories you hear about me. They'll be untrue 99.9% of the time. Um, Yuuko?' I tap her shoulder. She's still shaking, her eyes wide.

'P-please don't kill me. I'm sorry, I won't spill your secrets I promise, don't silence me please. I-I'll do anything. I don't want to die yet, not like this. I haven't gotten this month's pay yet, not to mention I'm getting underpaid too. The school hasn't realised yet how much work I do for them. There's still so many things I need to do too that I haven't done yet. Please don't kill me,' she quivers. Crap. I underestimated her ability to take a joke. Who knew she would take it this seriously?

'Yuuko? Yuuko, snap out of it. I'm not going to kill you. I'm not a spy. It was just a joke, ok? A joke. I was joking with you.' I speak slowly and wave my hand in front of her eyes, trying to get the words into her head and snap her out of her little reverie.

'Just a joke?' she whispers hopefully.

'Yes, just a joke. You can calm down.'

She sighs with relief and I do too. There's a giggle from behind me and I turn around to see Lilly.

'Hi Lilly,' I greet her.

'Hello Koujirou. Looking for a book?'

'Yeah, uh, haven't had much success yet.'

'I'm so sorry, it's all my fault isn't it? Blabbering on for ages, then leading you to the Braille section, please, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you, tell me,' Yuuko frantically speaks.

'It's ok, you've done a lot for me already. I've wasted a lot of your time too if you think about it like that. You should get back to work now, I wouldn't want to distract you from your job any longer,' I say and she nods in relief before walking away.

I look over to Lilly who's holding a book in her hands. 'What book are you reading?' I inquire.

'Death on the Nile,' she replies with a smile.

'Agatha Christie,' I grin.

She raises her eyebrows, 'You read her books?'

'My favourite was 'Endless Night'.'

'I see. That one was interesting, what makes it your favourite?' she questions. She said 'I see'... trying to ignore the irony in that statement, I focus on answering her question.

'Well,' I think for a second, 'I liked how it was from the murderer's perspective. He could've been happy, but in the end he chose 'endless night' over 'sweet delight'. And how at the end, he breaks down, regretting what he did, but of course it's too late.' Lilly nods thoughtfully at my response.

'Say, you have foreign blood right? Where…'

'My mother is Scottish and my father is Japanese. They both moved to Scotland for my father's promotion, my sister and I chose to stay in Japan,' Lilly explains.

'I se- Ok.'

'You can say 'I see' if you want, it's not like I mind,' she smiles.

'Ah, ok. Well then, um, I see. You didn't go with them to Scotland?'

'I… stayed back for my education, and Akira, my sister, stayed back for me.' She hesitates when she says that, and I realize I've hit something sensitive.

'So, do you know English then?' I change the subject quickly.

'Yes, I was taught from a young age. I take my English studies very seriously.'

' _That's cool, do you speak it fluently then?'_ I say in perfect English.

' _Not completely, I still have a ways to go. You're fluent in English?'_ I grin at her surprise.

' _Pretty cool, huh?'_ I smirk.

' _Indeed. You don't even have an accent, when did you find out you could speak English? Do you remember where you learned it?'_ she asks. Right, I'm not supposed to have my memory. It's hard keeping up this pretence, especially since I'm trying to make friends. Socially interacting with people sort of drags things out of you, when you're trying to see what you have in common and find a connection.

'Ah, I only found out just now. Who knew I was fluent in English, huh? I can't remember where I learned it or who taught me, but at least I know I have that skill now,' I switch back to Japanese, and Lilly does the same.

'I'm glad you learned something else about yourself. Um, Koujirou… do you want your memories back?'

'Huh?' Her question catches me off-guard. 'Well, yeah, I guess. I want to know who I am, and who I was before this,' I reply, trying not to sound sarcastic. If I wanted these memories I wouldn't be pretending not to have them. It's not all bad, there's just some things I wish I could erase… I wonder though, if I really did lose my memories and I was asked the same question, how would I answer?

'In that case, I wish you the best, and hope you get them back soon,' Lilly says.

'Thanks.'

'Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd best be leaving now. I have an appointment to get to.'

'Sure, goodbye.' I watch as Lilly walks off, skilfully avoiding things in her path with the use of her cane. Time to find a book. Finding books I can actually read, I finally find a few interesting books to borrow.

* * *

Making my way down the dorm corridor, I see Kenji in front of my room's door. 'Hey Kenji, were you looking for me?' I tuck my books under my arm and tap his shoulder, causing him to spin around.

'Who are you?' he shouts.

'It's just me, Koujirou.'

'Oh yeah? How do I know for sure? What if you're just lying to trap me?' he lifts his fists up in a fighting stance.

'Nope, it's definitely me, you can check.' He brings his face close to mine and peers at me through the thick lens of his glasses, examining my features until he pulls back, satisfied that I'm really myself.

'Very well then.'

'So, was there something you needed from me?' He had been in front of my room, after all.

'I came to warn you. You've been getting friendly with the blind broad, haven't you?'

'Are you talking about Lilly?' I frown at the terms he used to describe her.

'Lilly, Schmilly, doesn't matter what her name is. The point is, she's dangerous. Of course she is already, being one of them, but she's especially dangerous. You know why?'

'Why?' I'm expecting a silly answer but I'm still curious as to what that answer would be.

Kenji motions for me to come closer, so I lean in a little, and he whispers in my ear, 'She's a mafioso.'

'Your proof?'

'Think about it man. Just look at her, she's a foreigner. On top of that, I saw her once with this foreigner dude in a suit. A suit! He was definitely mafia. They're both mafia, you'd better watch out or you could be killed.'

Huh. Well, that was interesting. Who knows, maybe she is part of the mafia. Wait, what am I thinking? I make a mental note not to get caught up in Kenji's suspicions. 'Thanks man, I'll take your advice to be careful, but this is my mission, and missions come with danger. Recon is almost never safe, you know?'

Kenji nods seriously. 'Recon huh? You're a brave man, Koujirou, braver than I thought you were. You have my respect. Good luck on your mission. If all fails I'll be here to remember you.'

'Thanks. I'll need all the luck I can get. I'm going to go back to my room now, formulate a plan.' Totally. Playing along like this is kind of fun, though I do feel bad since Kenji is taking it seriously.

'Alright. I'd help you with that, but I have to go update my graphs now. Glad to know I'm not alone in this fight. Catch you later.' He pats me on the shoulder before returning to his room. What can I say? There's many different kinds of people in this world, I guess.

* * *

In the end, I decide not to join a club. Too much hassle, and too much to handle. Which is why I'm now headed into town to find some source of entertainment. I don't have to look far. After wandering aimlessly I've somehow ended up in a small playground. There's a group of kids playing there, and watching them play I feel a sense of nostalgia. Haven't played in a playground in ages, why not play now? Age is no excuse, and I won't let my arm hold me back.

I walk into the playground and take a seat on a vacant swing. I use my right arm to move my left arm around one chain of the swing, then grip the other chain tightly. Alright, this shouldn't be too hard, right? Wrong. I kick off the ground, but all my weight is on one side of the swing, so the swing spins. Losing my balance, I try to jump off the swing but my left arm is hooked around the chain so I get pulled back and end up on my knees. Ow. That was a horrible idea.

I sigh and slowly get up, dusting myself off with one hand. 'Hey Mister, you can't move your arm?' There's a young boy standing in front of me. He points at my left arm.

'I can't move it, no.'

'Why?' I'm not really bothered by his question or anything. Child curiosity. You can't fight it. I start to grin, getting an idea better than the earlier one.

I crouch down to his level and look him in the eye. 'You want to know why? If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone.'

'Can I tell my friends?'

'Hmm, ok. Look at my arm, looks like flesh and bones right?' I glance at my arm.

'Yeah…?' He looks confused.

'It isn't. The truth is… my arm is a super weapon. It's like a giant gun; a bazooka and a rocket launcher, all in one. Created to destroy absolutely anything and everything. It's made using unbreakable metal scales that can withstand the greatest heat, that's why it's so heavy. It can move and function like a normal arm, but it's so heavy I can only barely walk with it. When I have to position it I move it with my other arm. The only time I can move it on its own is when I turn it on and switch to robot mode.'

Hearing my explanation, the boy's eyes shine and he gushes excitedly, 'Cool! What can you destroy? What's your robot mode like? Can you turn it on now? If you have a robot mode, then are you a robot? Half-robot?'

'Like I said, I can destroy anything. The trees over there, this playground, the ground we're on… anything. When I turn on my robot mode I become invincible and incredibly strong, but I can't control that strength so I only use robot mode when I have to, like when there's evil to fight. So I can't turn it on now. I'm a human, but gained my robot mode from scientists experimenting on my body. I guess the term you'd use to describe me now would be superhero. My job is to protect people, fighting evil and preserving justice.'

The boy looks at me with admiration. 'Could I become a superhero too?'

'I don't know about super, but you can become a hero if you truly desire it.'

'Can you teach me how? Please?'

'Well, first you must learn the basic hero code. Protect innocent people, be kind and merciful, live a good life that you can be proud of. Even if you are strong and smart, you must have respect for others. It's important to have morals too, so you don't stray from your path. You get what I'm saying?' He vigorously nods and I smile at his energy.

'Good. Then your first mission is, help somebody! If someone needs help, however small, give them that help. It doesn't have to be something really hard, do what's within your limit so you can help them successfully. I'm sure there's somebody around you that needs help. Maybe a friend looked sad recently, you could try cheer them up for example. Understand the mission? Then go. Mission start!' I say in my best superhero voice, pointing off into the horizon. How ironic. Who am I to tell him to help someone when I can't even help anyone myself? Superhero my ass.

The boy doesn't budge, but stays right where he is.

'Hmm? Aren't you going to go do the mission?' He shakes his head, pointing at me.

'I'm going to help you!' he proclaims. Me?

'I… need help?'

He nods and explains, 'You looked sad earlier, when you failed at the swings.' I did? I didn't notice, but maybe I did.

'I'm going to help you do them,' he says confidently, and in his eyes I see strength I haven't seen in ages. I can't help but burst out laughing.

'Is it funny?'

'No, you just reminded me of something. No, someone. Anyways, how are you going to help me?'

'You have to sit on the swings first,' he says, so I sit on them again, gripping one chain in my right hand, then await further instruction. He thinks hard about what to do next.

'Can you do it?' I ask.

'I-I can!' He says it with determination, grabbing my left hand and puts it on the other chain of the swing. I wait for him to let go, but he doesn't.

'Uh, kid?'

'Ok, you can go now! I'm going to support you!' He puts one hand on my back. Well, here goes nothing. I'll trust the kid. I kick off the ground and feel myself start to turn, but the kid pulls me back, steadying me. And somehow, with his support, I can swing properly. As I start to pick up speed I can feel the air hitting my face. It's nice. Before I know it, I'm smiling. The sky is beautiful today, and every swing upwards I feel like I'm getting closer to it. After a while I look at the kid who then helps me slow down and get off safely.

'Thanks. You really did help me, huh? Mission complete!' I grin, holding my hand up for a high five. The boy grins back, high fiving me.

'No problem, all in a hero's day of work right?'

'Right. You'll be a fine hero when you grow up. What's your name, kid?'

'Takuya!' he puffs his chest out proudly.

'Takuya, don't forget this day alright? Remember the superhero you met that day in the playground.'

'So what's your name Mister?'

'Well, people know me as… Gojiman. Yeah, Gojiman.' I use the first thing that comes to mind.

'Like Goji berries?'

'Yeah, like Goji berries.' God it sounds so stupid. Gojiman? Really? Stupid brain, couldn't come up with anything better.

Takuya nods, repeating the name. 'I have to go now, Gojiman. We'll meet again, right?'

'Sure, if that's our fate. Only time will tell, you'll just have to wait and see. Bye Takuya,' I wave goodbye as he turns and runs over to his friends who instantly swarm around him with questions, no doubt about me and what he was doing.

Today I was saved a little by a kid. It sounds stupid but somehow I find myself smiling.

I leave the playground. I'm sort of thirsty, so I look around for a place where I might get a drink and maybe a snack. Eventually I see a small cafe named 'The Shanghai'. I remember Misha and Shizune telling me about it in class one day, may as well check it out.

* * *

I step into the place and look around only to find myself completely frozen. Sitting at one of the booths is Lilly and Akira. I remember Lilly mentioning her sister Akira, but who knew it'd be that Akira. Dammit, I should've guessed. They're both foreign, but I dismissed the thought because they're so different. To think that one of my friends would be the sister of my lawyer. Should I just get out of here?

I'm about to get out of the shop when a waitress greets me. Looking at her, I realize its Yuuko. 'Hello Koujirou, can I get your order?' I'm surprised that she works here but that doesn't matter right now.

'Actually I was just about to leave, I just realized I'm not actually thirsty, I'll come back another time,' I quickly gabble, stepping back towards the exit.

'Koujirou?' Oh crap. I wince and turn towards the owner of that voice.

'Um, hi?'

'It's been a while, eh?' She gets up and walks over to me. 'I knew you were attending Yamaku, but I didn't think I'd see you this soon.'

'Ahahaha, I'm sorry, I don't know who you are,' I laugh nervously.

'Hah? What are you saying, man? Just about a month ago we were having drinks together.' She makes a perplexed expression while I desperately hold a finger up in front of my mouth in a shushing gesture.

'Akira? You know Koujirou?' Lilly gets up from where she sits and slowly makes her way over to where Akira and I are standing.

'Of course, he was one of my clie-'I put my hand over her mouth before she can say anymore, and mouth 'Shut up'. Realization dawns on her and she takes my hand off her mouth. 'No problem, I get it,' she mouths back, emphasizing each word so I understand.

'Your what?'

'Oh, uh, nothing. I thought he looked familiar but turns out he's someone else.'

'But you knew his name and earlier you also said that you knew he was attending Yamaku?' Lilly raises a brow.

Akira fidgets nervously, looking over to me for help. I glare at her for getting us into this mess in the first place.

'Um, I was just guessing and pretending. You mentioned him when we were talking, and when this guy came in Yuuko called him Koujirou, so from the uniform I figured they were the same guy. Seems like I was right, huh?' She laughs in an obviously fake manner.

'Yes, you had me fooled completely just now. It sounded as if you had known each other for some time,' Lilly says.

'Ah, even if we did know each other, I wouldn't remember, sorry. Retrograde amnesia, I don't remember anything that happened before my stroke,' I explain to Akira, though of course she already knows it's fake. 'Anyways, I'd really better get going, I have um… things to do.'

'I see. Well, you're my sister's friend, if you have time why not come sit and talk with us? I'll even pay for your drinks. I'm sure your things to do can wait,' Akira suggests. So that's her game.

'Well, I wouldn't want to impose on you.'

'No, it wouldn't be a trouble at all, I'd also like for us to all spend some time together. Unless it'd be a trouble for you…' Lilly says. Crap, I can't refuse now. Akira smiles smugly. Che. She knew this would happen.

'It wouldn't be a trouble for me, I don't mind,' I reply.

'Then, shall we?' Lilly walks back to the booth she was previously sitting at and I follow, a few steps behind.

'We're going to have a nice long chat later,' Akira mutters so only I can hear. I nod. Fine. I have no choice, although I would rather not have to think about the past.

Yuuko jogs up to me. 'So, um, what would you like?'

'May I see a menu please?' She replies with no problem and runs to grab a menu before returning.

'Um, please be quick,' she says handing it over to me. I nod and open the menu, skimming over the list of drinks, and smirk when something catches my eye.

'Hmm, how about a glass of this wine? No, make that a bottle, if I somehow don't finish it I'll take it back to the dorms.'

'Are you sure?' she looks at me worriedly.

'Is there a problem? If I recall correctly, I'm old enough to drink these wines, and if not, I'm with an adult who will also be paying for my drink, can't you just let it slide? I'm not planning to become totally wasted here either, if that's what you're worried about,' I say, slightly irritated.

'No, no, I was just worried. You're planning to drink it all yourself, right? Isn't that a bit much for one person?' she asks.

I sigh. 'It's fine, I don't need your concern. That's my order, I'm going to take a seat now.' I start walking towards the booth.

'Ah, ok, sorry. I'll get it right away,' Yuuko mumbles, turning to leave.

'Wait!' I stop her, 'Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. Thanks for your concern, and, um, for caring. Yeah. You can, err, get back to work now.'

Her expression turns from dejected to surprised to happy. 'You're welcome,' she beams, before getting back to her work.

I take a seat next to Lilly, who smiles kindly and says, 'You're a nice person aren't you, Koujirou?'

'Huh? Err, not really.' Me? Nice? Maybe in the past, but things are different now. After the… incident, no one was the same. We all changed, though I changed the most.

Lilly just continues to smile. The wine comes and Akira grins widely. 'Koujirou, bro, nice choice. Didn't I give you a bottle of that stuff last time? I mean, Koujirou, you drink wine? Cool! Hahaha.' Akira quickly corrects herself while Lilly frowns. She's definitely suspicious.

'Yes, I do. In fact, I enjoy all types of alcohol.' And I enjoy them very much too. I decide to just have a glass of wine here, then take what's left in the bottle back to the dorms for later. Raising my glass, I take a sip.

Yep, that's the stuff. I grin happily, and take another sip.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi everyone, here is chapter five! This chapter would've been released sooner, but stuff happened which made me change the storyline. There's going to be a few more OCs now from Koujirou's past. It's pretty tragic, but I was wondering how just tragic it should be. Any opinions, thoughts, questions? All feedback is appreciated. :)

Oh yeah, so I found out horizontal lines in Word don't come up in the published fanfiction. Chapters will be separated into parts now, so hopefully it's easier to read.

* * *

Chapter Five

'So, Koujirou, how's Yamaku so far?' Akira grins.

'It's good, I guess,' I reply.

'You guess?'

'Koujirou is very famous within the school. I've heard many rumours about him; it would seem he's very popular amongst the female students especially,' Lilly smiles.

'Oh? It must be hard rejecting them all.' It's a joke, but I can hear real sympathy in Akira's voice as she says that.

'I've had several confessions already, I told them all that I can't love someone right now, that we can be friends, and when they find someone else to love I'll be there to support them,' I sigh. Akira laughs at my frustration.

'Do you remember if you loved someone in the past, Koujirou?' asks Lilly. My heart sinks as I remember. It hurts.

'I… Yeah, I do remember. I used to love somebody, but, thinking back on it I don't know if it was really love, I guess. Love is a strong word,' I whisper. Lilly pauses, sensing my mood.

'Hey, this week aren't ya shopping for Hanako's present?' Akira butts in to my relief.

Lilly answers, 'Hm? Oh yes, this Sunday. We'll be celebrating Hanako's birthday soon with a little party. Would you like to come, Koujirou? Hisao, Akira, myself, and of course Hanako herself will be there.'

'I'd love to, if you guys wouldn't mind.'

'Of course we wouldn't mind. Would you like to come with me this Sunday then to buy a present for Hanako?'

'Who else will come?'

'I extended an offer to Hisao, but he politely refused. It seems he would have his own plans, so it would just be us two.'

'Well, I have no reason to refuse. I'm free this Sunday, so I'll see you then.'

'Great,' Lilly exclaims, pleased. I smile, sipping the last of my wine.

'Great! It's been fun, but I have to go now, Lilly. Koujirou, come with me,' Akira announces her departure, looking at her watch. I look at Lilly and see her face fall.

'Do you have to leave so soon?' There's disappointment in her voice.

'Yes, sorry. We'll see each other again soon, don't worry.' Akira grabs me by the shirt and tries to tug me along.

'Why are you taking Koujirou with you?'

'I need to talk to him about things, make sure he has honest intentions regarding my sister, etc. etc. blah blah blah,' Akira bluffs.

'Alright. Goodbye, both of you.' Lilly reluctantly bids us farewell. Meanwhile Akira is still trying to tug me out of the restaurant with her. I quickly reach for my bottle of wine, grabbing it, before letting her pull me outside.

* * *

We walk away from the restaurant, to a nearby park. The park is empty save for a few people taking strolls. Akira sits on a park bench and motions for me to do the same. I comply, plopping myself down on the seat with as much attitude as I can muster.

'How rude, after all I've done for you. I'm still helping you even now.'

'Even now?' The last bit confuses me.

'How do you think Sakuya became your guardian? On Sakuya's request I not only did that, I even fudged certain documents so it'd be harder for authorities to find out who you are, so you can keep living with your 'amnesia'. After all this, I think I deserve some thanks,' Akira looks at me expectantly.

'Well, thank you. I didn't know you did all that for me, so thanks again.'

Akira smirks triumphantly. 'No problem, you're a good buddy of mine. Man, we need to go drinking together again. There's no drinking buddy like you.'

I laugh. 'Of course. Like you said, I have 'amnesia' right now though. I'm going to put my past behind me, that's the idea. So I can't go drinking with you.'

Akira sighs loudly and rolls her eyes, then suddenly becomes serious. 'Hey Koujirou, this is a serious question. Have _they_ found you yet?'

I look at her before replying, 'No. Not yet. Thanks to what you've done, they shouldn't find me for a while. I hope.' I sense that this was what she really wanted to ask.

Akira nods gravely, then switches back to happy as if a switch inside her was flicked. 'Well, buddy, I'll be seeing you round again soon. Hanako's birthday party will be fun! Ok, I'd better go now. See ya!' She gets up, cheerfully waving goodbye before leaving.

I stay there for a while longer, just thinking. Trying to put the past behind me isn't as easy as I thought it'd be. Somehow, it feels like everything will start chasing me soon, and when it catches me, it'll pull me back and drag me down. It's just a matter of how much time I have.

I think back on the conservation earlier about love. I used to love someone. Did I really love them though? Not to mention the other people I cared about. Those things confuse me so much right now. I don't even have the right to love anyone anymore. Not after what I did. Not after that night.

Do I even deserve to be happy?

Starting to think about that time I hastily rise and start to run out the park, fast as my legs take me. I run and I run until I'm out of breath, to take those thoughts off my mind. I trip, I stumble, and fall, but I get up again and keep running. It doesn't matter where, I just have to run. As fast as I can.

When I stop and look around, I realize I've come back to the school. To be exact, I'm standing in front of the entrance to the male dorms. Panting, I realize I'm still holding my bottle of wine. Just what I need.

* * *

Sunday soon swings around. Everyday I've been hanging out with Hisao, Lilly, and Hanako during lunchtimes, sometimes with Emi and Rin, but mostly with the other three. I meet Lilly at the designated place, the school gate. I'm a few minutes early, so I wait for her to arrive.

'Ah! Koujirou-sama, what are you doing today?' Hey look, it's my fan club! No seriously, they're an official club at this school, I heard it from Emi. Though I never agreed to this, it's not too bad. They're all quite friendly and not that pushy either. We're all friends, or something like that.

'I'm waiting for a friend. We're going into town together to do some shopping.'

'Ehh, that's too bad. You should hang out with us sometime!' They protest jokingly.

'Hahaha, sure. Maybe sometime I'll hang out with you guys, but today I'm busy.'

'How's your arm?' One asks, and the others follow with similar questions.

'Well, it's getting better. I can move it now, but only a bit.' To demonstrate, I lift my arm up a little, although the motion is slow and clumsy.

'That's great! We'll always be here for you if you need us!' They cheer, and I laugh again. It's nice to have such support.

I look up to see Lilly approaching, cane in hand. 'Alright guys, my friend's here now, you know what that means,' I grin.

'Yes, yes, we're leaving now,' they complain, but they giggle as they leave, smiles on their faces. I wave goodbye as they walk away.

'Popular as ever, Koujirou. Am I late?' Lilly comes up to me.

'Nope, I was just early. Shall we go?'

Lilly nods and grabs my elbow. My body stiffens immediately from the unexpected contact, but not because of embarrassment.

'Sorry, is this alright?' Lilly glances up at me, concerned.

'…Yeah, it's alright. Let's go,' I start to walk. She's blind, so it's fine right? It's just supporting her as she walks. There's no meaning to this contact. I have to concentrate on our task. Right now it's time to find a present for Hanako.

We get to town and start to look at various stores. What would Hanako like, anyways? We've hung out for a while now but I still don't really know her that well.

'Oh, this is nice,' Lilly remarks looking at a teddy bear, 'I'll buy this. What about you, have you found anything yet Koujirou?'

'Still looking. Wait, that necklace…' A necklace in the corner of my eye catches my attention and I turn to look at it through the glass display. Silver chain and a small pendant, it's perfect.

'Are you going to get that necklace?'

'This necklace here… it'd look so good on Til- err, I mean, forget what I just said.' Shoot. I caught myself just in time. Almost said her name. I have to forget the past. Forget.

'Til? Were you going to say someone's name?'

'I-um, just forget it, please. I'll just get that bracelet there for Hanako. Don't know how much she'll like it, but I think it'd suit her.'

'Ok. After we're done here, would you like to get a cup of tea with me? Ah, you don't have to drink tea though, we could go to a café,' Lilly suggests. Thankfully she doesn't pry into it, and I'm really grateful for that. Lilly is kind. That's something I've noticed from the start, even before I saw that she was blind. _She might be too kind though…_ I push that last thought aside and give her a reply.

'Sure, why not?' She smiles at my response and I feel my chest tighten uncomfortably. _Too kind._ A drink at a café should be fine though. Faces flash in my head and my chest tightens further.

'I don't have much time, is it alright if we make it short?' It's a lie, and I think she hears it in my voice because I see her expression fall a little before she replies. I've hurt her.

'That's fine. Shall we go to the Shanghai?'

We pass some time there chatting until I say I have to go. It should and probably would've been fun another time, but the whole time we were there I couldn't shake the dull pain in my heart. Walking back through town I spot the shop from earlier. Something makes me walk inside and before I know it I'm in front of that necklace again.

'Interested?' I turn to see an old man next to me.

'Huh?'

'You have a fine eye. That one's very nice, good quality… will you buy it?' he asks.

'Um, well, maybe… It really is nice, but…'

'Are you looking to buy it for a friend? A girlfriend, perhaps?' he chuckles heartily at his own words.

'No, she's neither. She's just- someone, I guess… You know what, I'm going to buy it.' I look at the necklace with determination.

 _You're never going to give it to her,_ says a voice inside me.

Shut up, what do you know? I retort.

 _Everything, of course. Pfft, even if you somehow gave it to her, would she even wear it? Plus, you said you'd forget your past. That includes her, you know? You also said you didn't even like her anymore. Was that a lie too?_

'Shut up!'

'Pardon?' The old man looks at me in surprise. I must've spoken my thoughts aloud.

'Sorry, I was just, err, talking to myself. I'll be taking this necklace.'

'Great. Let me give you a discount, boy. Good luck with it,' he chuckles again.

'Thanks.' Although it's already too late for good luck. I don't know why I'm even buying this necklace, but without realizing I've already handed the old man the cash for it.

* * *

'Happy birthday, Hanako!' I give the girl my gift as I take a seat at the table in the middle of the room. We're all in Lilly's room, which suiting her is neat, organized, and clean save for the piles of books lying around. The first thing that came to attention when I came in though was attire. Or rather, to be more specific, the two girls' attire.

They were in pyjamas; Lilly had on a dark blue pair which consisted of a short-sleeved pyjama shirt and shorts, while Hanako wore pretty much the exact opposite, a pink, long-sleeved, night gown which went all the way down to her ankles. Sure they look nice, but still, how could they be so defenceless? Especially since they were amongst males too. I can't speak for Hisao, and I don't think of the two girls in that way, but still, how could they be so defenceless?

'Th-thank you,' she smiles shyly, trying on the bracelet. Her words snap me back to the situation at hand.

'You're welcome. I hope you like it,' I smile with some sincerity.

'Yes, it's very p-pretty.' Lilly and Hisao then give her their presents, and she glows with happiness. I don't think I've ever seen her this happy.

'Alright, let's get this party started! I brought the wine!' Akira exclaims excitedly, holding up two bottles of wine. She's energetic as ever.

Hisao looks at the bottles unsure. 'Aren't most of us underage? Tomorrow's Tuesday, we have to go to school.'

'Who cares, it's a party! Get drinking!'

'But-'

'No buts! Here,' Akira pours a glass of wine and shoves it towards Hisao's chest roughly, spilling some in the process. He hesitantly accepts, still looking doubtful but taking a sip regardless.

'It's… not bad,' he decides, looking down at his glass.

'Right?' Akira grins evilly, pouring everyone else a glass too and urging them to drink. I don't hesitate to down the whole glass in one go. Lilly and Hanako take cautious sips, Lilly continuing on to finish her glass.

'More please,' we speak in unison.

'Oi, oi, if you drink so fast you can't fully appreciate the taste, you know?' Akira complains, pouring us both another glass anyways. Lilly smiles and takes another sip, sighing in happiness. I'm tempted to quickly down the whole glass again, since I mostly drink just to get drunk, but it's probably not a smart idea to get drunk here.

Although everyone else seems to think otherwise.

Akira's a lightweight, I know that. I guess the others are too. Maybe they drank so much because they thought they could handle it, but somehow, before I know it, I'm the only sober one in the room. My tolerance to alcohol is pretty high, and I also didn't drink anymore after my first glass except for a few occasional sips here and there. What do I do now though? Everyone seems to be in full party mode.

Looking around the room, I sigh. It's a total mess, and students from nearby rooms will probably come complain soon. To think it's only been around 15 minutes since this party started.

'Come on, Koujirou, lighten up man. Where's your smile, eh?' Akira comes over and pinches my cheeks, pulling them up into a forced smile. Annoyed, I bat her hands away. She's completely drunk. They all are.

Lilly's the next to shuffle over, in a drunken stupor. 'Koujirou, I'm tired…' she moans, 'Where are you?' She flays her arms wildly, almost hitting me in the process. Oh boy. I want to tell her to be careful, but in her current state my words would just be a waste of breath.

Hisao and Hanako are also nearby, talking to each other with incomprehensible words. Well, Hisao's doing most of the talking. The birthday girl is just nodding as he talks. I doubt either of them know what they're talking about.

'Hey guys, listen, let's play Truth or Dare!' Akira punches the air in excitement, and the others follow suit, shouting their approval. Oh dear.

'Um, it's getting late. I shouldn't even be in the girls' dorms anyways, so I think it would be best for me to take my leave now. This party has been lots of fun, I hope you enjoyed your birthday Hanako. Well with that said, goodbye everyone, I'll see you tomorrow.' I smile politely as I stand up and head towards the door.

'Wait.' Suddenly I feel a huge weight on my leg. I try to move, but my leg won't budge. Looking down I see Akira on the ground, arms around my leg. Dammit, is she crazy?

'Don't be a party pooper, Koujirou, come play with us. Here, take a seat. Come on, it hasn't been half an hour yet.' Which is why this situation is so ridiculous.

'Really, I can't-'

'Sit. Down.' I look back to see Akira glaring, a dark shadow over her face, and shiver.

'Truth or Dare sounds great actually. I'll sit.' I quickly seat myself at the table.

'Yeah! Let's play!' Hisao cheers.

'I-I'm going first,' stutters Hanako, a determined expression on her face. The others agree to her going first and she takes a deep breath, before yelling, 'Hisao, truth or dare?'

Wow, she's braver than I thought. I glance at Hisao, then flick my gaze back to Hanako. The two of them are blushing madly, although that might just be their cheeks flushing from the alcohol. 'Truth!' he yells back. Playing it safe, huh?

'What do you think about me?'

Hisao cheeks redden even more, if that's even possible. 'P-pass!'

'No way!' Everyone boos and protests. Well, except for me of course. This game is a bore, I just want to leave now.

'Penalty! Hisao must strip. Take off one article of clothing!' Akira orders.

'What!? Why?' whines Hisao, but after a while and some forceful persuasion from the others, he obeys, removing his tie. Meanwhile, I'm starting to feel a chill. This game of truth or dare is more intense than I originally thought it'd be. Everyone has a predatory look in their eyes, and I sense something akin to bloodlust growing in the room with each turn of the game.

A few rounds later, it's my turn to choose. Truth? Or dare? This is the moment I've been dreading. Everyone's gaze is on me. There's no reasoning with them. I have to choose.

'Tr-truth?' I stutter without meaning to. The moment the word is out of my mouth, their faces all light up with a grin. Evil grins.

'Heh heh.' Lilly giggles drunkenly, as it's her turn to ask me a question. 'Koujirou, tell me, have you really lost your memories?'

My eyes widen. Why would she ask that? Never mind, I don't have to pass, I'll just lie. As always.

'Yes, I have. I've gotten some back though, and I'm slowly regaining my other memories.'

'Lies!' she jabs a finger in my direction.

'What?'

'Lies. Koujirou, you're always lying. Why?'

'What makes you think I'm lying?'

'You're a good actor, you know that?'

'Thank you.'

She huffs in annoyance. 'You're so secretive. Will you tell us the truth one day?'

'I've lost my memories. That is the truth.'

Silence reigns for a few seconds before she speaks. 'I can't see the expressions your face makes, but I can hear emotions in your voice, and there's one emotion I always hear.'

'And that would be?'

'Sadness.'

Honestly, I don't know how to react to that. So I don't. I just sit there in silence. Akira quickly continues the game to lighten up the mood. I'm not playing anymore, just spectating.

'Here, have some wine,' Hisao grabs an almost empty bottle and shoves it in my chest, then pats my back. Heck, why not? I chug it down, grab the other bottle and chug what's left of that.

* * *

Eventually the others get bored of truth or dare so we all just talk nonsense, passing the hours by, until Akira has to leave and Hisao and Hanako pass out.

'Ha! Lightweights,' I laugh at their current state. They'll be hungover in the morning, and I'll laugh at them again then. Wait, I'm not staying here overnight am I? I look over to Lilly, who's sprawled on her bed, still awake.

'This was a fun party, thanks. I'd better leave now. See you tomorrow, Lilly.' I slowly get on my feet.

'Wait, did you know, this isn't actually Hanako's real birthday?'

'Hmm? But you're having her birthday party now?'

'We're having it early because I won't be here for her real birthday. I'm going back to Scotland with Akira for a week or so. If it's not too much to ask, could you please watch over those two for me while I'm gone?'

'Sure, no problem. Visiting your parents?'

'One of my aunts is sick, but I will be staying with my parents, so I guess you could say I'm visiting them too.'

'…I see.' To be honest, Akira's told me about their parents before. She seems to think that they're horrible, but I wonder if Lilly feels the same way.

'Thank you for coming to this party. I'm glad Hanako has a new friend now. Well, see you tomorrow.'

'Yeah, see you tomorrow.'

* * *

She'd be gone for a week. At the time, it seemed like no big deal. But a lot happened in that week. And I came to realize I really missed that kindness of hers.


End file.
